children

I think that I might loose my mind.
...
yep that's pretty much it, I was trying to think of something poignant to say but that's all I got...
Parker is having Kindergarten issues and we just realized that he is totally playing us. All of us. His parents, his teachers - you name it. We have been really kicking it up a notch with his studying (which in my opinion is absolutely asinine) because he is lagging behind on the things they require for first grade. I have been so frustrated, beating my head against a wall because we will do all of his homework together and work on his numbers and spelling word flash cards that we made, and he knows every one of them. Then he goes to school and "can't remember." I finally told him this week that if he doesn't try his best in school then he will not be allowed to participate in the fun things they do. Is it just me or does this seem insane for kindergarten? Finally after doing his reading time, and working on flash cards, and finishing homework, and making his leprechaun trap, I just snuggled with my five year old on the couch and talked about his favorite things. Here is what I got:
Me: Hey bud, what is your favorite thing about the winter time?
Parker: Playing the soccer game with Uncle Dustin at the Cabin.
Me: you mean Foosball?
Parker: No, the soccer game - you know where you twist the guys and kick the ball...
Me: oh- yeah. Are you really good at it?
Parker: Yeah, and here's the good news mom...I totally beat him!

I love it! When did my 5 year old learn the phrase "and here's the good news" ???
That kid is a kick in the pants!

Kaden has decided that he wants to grow up and turn into Spiderman. He has never seen the show or cartoon but he sees things on commercials and at the store. Today while we were picking Parker up from school he is talking a mile a minute while I drag him across the school yard and because he has no other volume than LOUD he says at the top of his little (and once underdeveloped-hard to believe) lungs:
"Mom when I gwow up and tuwn into Thpidewman you know whath gonna go in my pack pack? My Thpidewman dweth! (dress).
All of the sudden neighboring waiting parents are checking out the mom of the cross dressing toddler.
I have tried and tried to explain to Kaden that what he is refering to is called "clothes" and only girls wear dresses, but there seems to be some confusion with the phrases "go get dressed" and the definition of an actual "dress"
oy.
Brin is 30 all of the sudden.
The other day I called for her from my bedroom and I heard her little footsteps come down the hall and then a tiny voice said: "what Mom, what do you need to talk to me about?"
Seriously?
What would I do without the entertainment?